Quit

            Tears flowed down without me even realising it, she was right, sitting in front of her, I am speechless... she pointed out every single details, things that i have never thought that will ever happen, happened. Too optimistic somtimes lead to dumbness; sadly its the ironic, satire part of life. Looking back, I had and still loves those people so much. May be I am possesive, maybe I am just over concern with other's life, or I take it too personal, which i shouldn't... ...

             2 months ago, before I went back, mum and dad had a very strong feeling that the route I am going is not right, they use 2corinth 6:14 to remind me. They wanted me to quit. But at the meant time I get a chance that will lead to another stage of my career, but of course if I invest a lump sum to the group. I brought the 'good news' to friends around but none gave any approval, giving me verses telling me not right, not wise but I don't care, the wilfulness in me tells me I want it! But yet God loves me too much to harm me, patiently HE talks to me through people around me, revealing to me when and what I should tolerate and they are times the I had to be assertive, standing up for myself because HE loves us, we are bought at an expensive price; &  I still can't believe HE talks to me through her... ...

             Working in an environment required to give a lots of love and care is my passion and desires. I am never good in anything but with the grace and love of GOD I can touch people's heart with the blessings, love and knowledge HE gave directly. I love people, I love to see God's power in making people healthy. I love this place, where one said to adopt me as her daughter, one baked me with wonderful short bread, croissant and yes the tiramisu was really exotic, countless chocolates gifts makes me teary; and I can never forget the 90 yo can still play nice piano pieces and talking bout giving me her precious pieces so that i can share her joy in piano playing... ... there's so many beautiful moment with all of them... I listened and learned bout their life journey .... ...

             But life moves on, there's always boundaries, I am not usually a quiter but this time I will obey, I quit. 

           The route in front of me seems dark, misty  and cold; blurry everything is so blur... .... Alone I am here, but suddenly I felt a big, warmth hand holding mine, whispering  "my princess, don't be afraid, look up to me,  for I have a plan for you, a plan that will prosper and not harm you .... what you have to do now is hang on, hold my hand tightly, do not let go and I will walk with you through all these... ...

                               Things change, plan failed ..... ..... but JESUS will still be there ... forever and ever  

                         It was one of those early morning, sitting at that regular corner, staring at my still warmth Venezuela's milk-choc, I never keen on drinking it, but really loves the warmth that little hug-mug giving to my little pair of cold hands. especially in this gloomy, cold, drizzling morning. 

                        Drizzled makes everything looks so misty, blurry.... ... the earth was saddened by this sudden change of weather. Was it just me with my imaginations? or everyone gets this surge of sentimenalism at this hour of the day, this time of the year ... ...

                       Everything seems faded, green leaves left that everygreen land, warmth caressing summer breezes are losing it's way, the once loving sun had drown in the sea of glomminess. The usual crowded beach was now empty, deserted, leaving it with a litttle sense of loneliness... maybe it is autumn, a time where everything seems forgotten, lost and stopped, suddenly I felt a strong sense of paranoia. If life can be devided into seasons, starting with spring when we born...... 

                       Will those precious memories we once treasure so much been taken away as time goes by?

          This girl friend of mine, H went on a date with this guy M who is very shy and quiet. Dinner was excellent, dining on the highest restaurant in sydney with the fantastic 360 degree spectacular night view of the city and the best ambience a first date can have. She said everything was excellent until... ...

                  After the main course while waiting for dessert; they sat on the opposite side of the table, in total "Silence" (the worst thing can happen on the first dinner), since he is quite cute,she decided to break that moment of embarrasment.

                        H: So, what are you working as?

                      M: I am an anthropologist.

                        H: Interesting! So 'The Mummy' must be your favourite movie right?

                       M: eerrr.... sorry, that's Archeology.

                        H: Opps....

                            ........... ............. ............silence ......... ............... .............

                        H: So what do you like to do on your free time?

                       M: I love taking photograph. Do you like that?

                        H: I love it?

                       M: So what sort of pictures you take?

                        H: Myself, u?

                       M: Good...... continue the silence.

Conclusion: She insisted that the guy must have think fool of her, what an ignorant, narcissist she is.

                        But, this really give us a good laugh!                  

Man Versus Animal

*This is not a feminist entry, nothing personal and its purely based my own view, on some facts that I find it hard to accept but sometimes it just happen... ...*

So it was all our fault. Since birth, we are the weaker sex, living under the superiority of man, submmision is our only resort, no matter how good you are academically, sexist still exist in everywhere or somewhere, for example; assault in work place, unjust paid, etc and being the weaker sex is not easy, all these years women are struggling through all dramas hoping to seek equality, in a genuinne way because we are all human. 

Women succumb to the pain of being 'women', This is a fact, a cliche or a norm? not until when we suddenly parabled as a piece of meat(by the famous controversial cleric in sydney largest mosque last week), be it pork or the best shabu shabu, it's still the worst word to degrade women. Women are being blamed for rape, it is all our fault for not covering up in the cute and safest costume (accordign to them). What does this statement implied? Man, a species that one regarded so highly intellectual, so superior,can't spare a little of self control but acted like a low- graded animal (of dogs and cats) when women doesn't covering up her hair with a tiny head piece, or show a little of flesh like neck line and limbs? Excuse-me, where is the once so highly self-obsessed, self-centred, egoistic man who thought they are more rational, superior and wiser compare to women.

Further more, how about women in middle-eastern who was rape even in the full-covered costume? A more rediculous case in Pakistan, where a law called hudud law enforced that if a women who was raped have to provide up to 4 witnesses as the penetration happen. It gives me a laugh, and also pinch in of aches in the heart. what had happened to those women who had to live under this law. Rape is defined as to force someone to have sex when they are unwilling, using violence or threatening behaviour according to Cambridge dic, and with the tinniest common sense, who the hell will do this illicit activities happen in public, if he did it, he must be either brainless or .... So rape happen in everywhere, its not about the costume we women wear. Its just a way that man find a way to makes themselve feel better when commited that dirty crime, and walk out of mess of after arrowed the finger back to women. And with a little sense of consciece, after going through all the traumatic experience of rape, that women still have to put up with all those unreasonable blame. 

         So, what's left now.... .... a sense of injustice and hatred! what had the world become, when rights becomes wrong, black becomes white, when there is nowhere to seek a shelter, when a rapist can walk away freely claiming its all the victims fault? Its totally insane... ... and pathetic!